Without Jesus. It's Meaningless.

I've been trying to act normal but that past keeps running on my head. At first, it's weird but right now it's not normal anymore. I'm in a darkest place that only I and I could only see. In that dark -- I am blind but I can see. Weird right? But there's something in that place that keeps me running without end. In that place, I am alone. In that place, I can see everything. In that place, I am a different person. Why do I have to feel that way? Why do I have to see myself "Defeated?" And all I can remember is that, with Jesus in your life you are "Victorious" But why do I feel like, I am defeated even if I recognized Him? Now I understand, maybe I don't know Him at all. I just know Him by Name. But do I really keep attention to it that He is the Lord of my life? Or maybe, I am still the one who ruled my life? Did I really surrender my life to Him? Or did I surrender my half of my life? Not everything. Now, I know. It keeps running on my head. Without Jesus. It’s meaningless!


'till my next entry!